RONNIEISMS

DECEMBER HAS ARRIVED
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, PRESENTS FOR THE FAMILY. WATCHING OUR GRANDKIDS TEAR OPEN THEIR PACKAGES, FROWN WHEN THEY SEE CLOTHES AND SMILE WHEN THEY SEE TOYS. WATCH ALL THAT WRAPPING PAPER GO INTO THE TRASH BAG, WHAT A WASTE. WHY NOT SAVE UNTIL NEXT YEAR, DO YOU THINK THE KIDS WILL NOTICE?

I'LL ADD TO WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING "DIDN'T THIS YEAR JUST FLY BYE?" MY STANDARD ANSWER, ESPECIALLY TO THOSE YOUNGER THAN ME, "WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE MY AGE, I NO SOONER SEE THE PLAZA LIGHTS GO DARK BEFORE THEY LIGHT THEM AGAIN." IT'S TRUE THOUGH, AS WE GET OLDER THE TIME ACTUALLY GOES FASTER OR IS IT JUST THAT WE'RE MOVING SLOWER SO EVERYTHING SEEMS FASTER. INSTEAD OF WALKING, WE SHUFFLE. WHEN SITTING DOWN, WE TAKE AIM AT THE CHAIR AND COLLAPSE WITH A SLIGHT SIGH. GETTING UP BECOMES A LITTLE HARDER ESPECIALLY IF THE CHAIR DOES NOT HAVE ARMS. WE TRY TO DO IT AS SMOOTHLY AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT PASSING GAS. WE KNOW WHO THOSE THAT DO, BECAUSE OF THEIR SMILE AND THE WAY THEY LOOK AROUND TO SEE IF ANYONE HEARD OR NOTICED.

ANOTHER YEAR IS ALMOST BEHIND US AS WE MAKE PLANS FOR  2010. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN THAT LONG SINCE WE WERE TOLD THAT THE YEAR 2000 WAS THE END. WE ALL THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE THE COMPUTERS MIGHT NOT RECOGNIZE THE DATE THAT ALL ELECTRONICS WOULD COME TO A HALT. THE COMPUTERS WE HAD THAT YEAR WERE LARGER THAN THEY ARE NOW BUT THE INFORMATION AND SPEED HAVE TRIPLED. WE'VE GOTTEN SO SPOILED THAT IF IT TAKES THE COMPUTER MORE THAN A FEW SECONDS TO COMPLETE A REQUEST WE COMPLAIN ABOUT IT'S SPEED. EVERYTHING NOW IS MEASURED IN MILI-SECONDS OR GIGABYTES. AN "NCIS" SHOW A WEEK OR SO AGO WAS ABOUT A POWER FAILURE SO NONE OF THEIR EQUIPMENT WORKED. THEY EVEN HAD TO USE A POLAROID CAMERA. CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT A CELL PHONE CAN DO?  IT CAN HANDLE MORE INFORMATION THAN A LARGE ROOM FILLED WITH A CARD READING XEROX COMPUTER COULD DO AND IN ONE HUNDRETH OF THE TIME.

THIS YEAR I'LL BE ENTERING MY FOURTH QUARTER AND CAN LOOK BACK AT THE WAY WE USED TO DO THINGS AND TODAY WHERE THINGS ARE DONE FOR US, BY TECHNOLOGY. IT'S AMAZING HOW FAR SCIENCE HAS GOTTEN IN FINDING CURES FOR OUR ILLNESS'. THE BIG PROBLEMS ARE THE NEW DISEASES THAT HAVE APPEARED BECAUSE OF THE FOODS WE EAT AND THE AIR WE BREATHE AND CARELESS SEX.

WE USED TO BREW COFFEE IN A POT ON THE STOVE, THEN THE TEN AND TWENTY CUP MACHINES CAME OUT. IT WAS GREAT WE COULD HAVE CUP AFTER CUP OF HOT COFFEE. AND NOW, WE'RE BACK TO SINGLE CUP BREWERS, SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT.

 WHEN I WAS A YOUNGSTER WE ATE FOODS THAT CONTAINED FAT AND CALORIES AND THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT.  TODAY WE EAT PROCESSED FOODS, WATCH OUR FAT INTAKE. OUR SUGAR AND CALORIES AND MORE PEOPLE ARE GETTING SICK. OH WELL, THAT'S PROGRESS.

IN THIRTY DAYS  WE WATCH THIS YEAR CLOSE AND OUR FUTURE BEGIN AND AS YOGI ONCE SAID "IT'S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN!"