RONNIEISMS

WORK FROM HOME!
How many times a day do you receive e-mails containing information about working from home and making untold dollars from your computer. If you're like me, it's in the hundreds, not daily but weekly. The writers of these commercials are so good at what they do in making it sound so easy, a caveman can do it. (Pardon me Geico) This morning I looked into one about a woman in Kansas City who lost her job, answered an ad from Google and is making about $5,000.00 a month. Sounds good, doesn't it and if they print it, it must be true, right. After all, would Google lend their name to a scam? Just put $1.95 on your credit card and we'll send you the first of two kits, but you need two. So far, still sounds good.

Now before signing up and filling out all the information including your credit card number, read the small print at the bottom. After the initial period of 30 days or so you will be billed monthly $39.95, but you can cancel at anytime. If you fail to cancel, an amount, not sure exactly how much will be deducted from your credit card. If you try to get out of the site you will get a pop up telling you, Whoa, check this out before you make a negative decision. If you do you're directed to another site at a discounted price but you can purchase another product, and it goes on and on, telling you what a mistake you're making by not signing up.

I'm not saying this is a scam, definetly not, but why don't they show the actual cost up front instead of putting it in small print at the bottom. Unfortunately many people looking for the get rich quick system don't read the small print and get sucked in. After seeing the additional charges on their card for a few months, they attempt to cancel. In most cases, if the company is legitimate you'll eventually get it stopped but getting any refunds is another story. All I'm trying to say is, read the small print first.

For example; "For only $39.95 a month you can make a weekly income of whatever, no guarantee unless you put in the required hours" Some will be immediately turned away but others might think, "hey, this could be for real". I've found that these commercials are really worth reading, they're very well written and for the most part are successful, or they wouldn't keep producing them. Most of us that spend time on our computers think that with the limited skills we've learned while being logged on is enough for us to make that untold fortune just by sitting in front of our montor and inputting bits of information.

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RONNIEISMS

WONDER OF WONDERS

Yesterday was my grandson Tyler's 24 th birthday. I remember the day he was born and the nurse placing him into my hands. His tiny fingers circled one of mine and this shiver went up my spine forming a connection that we've never lost.  The tears spilled down my cheeks as I stared into his partially opened eyes and I knew that even though he wasn't my actual grandson, it wouldn't matter. I was the first grandpa that held him.

The title of this blog is because as Tyler was growing, his eating habits did not. He refused most baby foods and was extremely selective about anything that passed through his lips. Mac and cheese became his staple and no matter where he ate, that was it and nothing foreign could touch his plate or come in contact with his beloved mac and cheese.

I sat last night at the dinner table with him and watched him eat two barbeque beef sandwiches and a half slab of ribs. "Are you O.K.?"  I asked. "Grandpa, I've grown up, it just took me a little longer to try other things."  When he was younger he used to call me Crapaw which I accepted as a showing of love rather than me being full of it.

Today he's back in college and doing well. In a couple of years he will have a degree and start his adult life. At this time I believe that music will be a major part of his future since his drumming is better than good. Tyler, I want you to keep that wonderful smile and sense of humor, (probably learned from me) and become the best at whatever you decide to be. Always remember that your Crapaw loves you too much.

RONNIEISMS

AS TIME GOES BYE
During the last couple of weeks I've constantly heard the phrase "Where has the year gone?" "It seems that it was only a month or so ago when they turned out the Plaza Lights." Even my adult children are experiencing the fast way that time seems to travel. "Dad, I can't believe you've been married over 25 years." Seven years longer than my first marriage that ended in 1974 after 18 years. "You're going to be how old?"

These last 25 years, with my extended family have been beyond expectation. We've watched our children have children who seem to grow taller by the second and become more beautiful and handsome every day. When each child was a toddler I taught them all my simple phrase. "Who loves you?" answered, "You do", "How much", "too much", and to this day we still use it. Just hearing it brings a great big smile to my face and the fact that they remember.

Time is a precious thing and it's a shame the way some people abuse it by pushing aside a time in their life to accomplish their goals. After my discharge from the Army I was planning to go back to college to get a law degree. But as a poor excuse and probably a lazy one, I went to work to support my new family instead of fullfilling one of my life goals. Looking back, I still regret that I didn't take advantage of the GI Bill to continue my formal education. It was over 50 years ago and I did accomplish many things that I never knew that I could.

The NIKE ad that says DO IT NOW, is true. Look to tomorrow and do it now because before you know it, tomorrow is here. So as time flitters away, enjoy every day with your family, your friends and make the best of what you have. We've all shared deaths in our families, even more so since we've become the Sr. generation but time goes on as does life. Do away with the petty arguments that keep families apart. Learn to forgive so you can enjoy life without bitterness.

I'm not trying to preach but with age comes a little of life experiences that you hope to pass on to those younger. My biggest problems these days is waking up 3 times a night to relieve myself, it's much better than reverting to childhood and not getting out of bed. Going back to sleep is getting harder because my past life starts flashing through my mind as if I were in a movie. As the expression goes, "It's better than the alternative" The alternative being death or senility. I now have a fourth generation in my family, my great grandson Connor who will continue the Shapiro name. Maybe some day he can look back and see where his family came from and see the resemblance he has to those before him.

I'll end this diatribe with a simple edict to enjoy your life, count your blessings and if your name is not in the obituaries, you can shave.

RONNIEISMS

THIS YEAR'S CHANUKAH PARTY
Our family party was on the second night at our son Hal and his beautiful wife Kathy's home. We had about 30 in attendance including spouses, grand kids, great grand child and a couple of girl friends. As usual the noise was loud but the loudness was created by everyone talking at the same time, the kids all running around, it was a beautiful noise. A noise of family togetherness, happiness and laughter. That kind of noise is always acceptable when you have (thank goodness) happy, healthy children.

Since almost everyone was there we couldn't talk behind anybody's back. Hal had wine flowing from his new decanter and I believe it had to be refilled a few times. The food, as usual was great. Hal made a tenderloin that was cooked to everyone's personal temperature. The latkes were so great that we ran out, which is a first. People were going back for seconds and thirds which is something not done in the past. The salad was outstanding and the cheescakes made by my wife Norma and Josh's girlfriend Rachel were unbelievably great.

People stayed longer than usual because everybody was having a good time. The kids were playing guitar hero in the basement as loud as the equipment would allow. My great grandson Connor attempted to play ping pong with his uncle Albert, who is over six feet tall but Connor had a great time smacking the ball.  Gayle was challenging everyone to play basketball and a few others played cards. A great time was being enjoyed by all. When the noise got too loud, the adults all headed upstairs to get some ear relief.

Watching the kids tear open all their presents, not bothering to check who they came from, until their parents directed them to the right person for thank you's was a sight to behold. All of the care took in wrapping was totally lost on the rippers as they tore and threw the paper to the floor. It was beautiful pandemoneum. Family parties are always a great time. Looking forward to next year.

RONNIEISMS

CHANUKAH

Tonight our mixed family will celebrate our annual Chanukah party. Our family consists of Caucasian, Hispanic and African.  We are so blessed that our grandchildren and great grandchild can all celebrate together. Tonight is really the Jewish portion for gift giving, especially to the young ones. Most of them will still have their Chrismas parties which means the kids will again have a gift unwrapping day.

Growing up as a child in Chicago with grandparents from Russia we never would imagine a Christmas party and never a Christmas tree although we really felt a little cheated when we visited our non Jewish friends.

Those mixed families called their tree a Chanukah bush and as long as the Christian ornament was not present it was OK. I remember our traditional family celebrations where (on my Mother's side) the entire family would get together, eight children with their families, these are wonderful memories. All the kids at one table and the adults at another. I remember that I sat with the adults after my Bar Mitzvah , since I was then a man.

All of the old family are gone except for a couple in their 90s, two widowed aunts and now the first generation Americans celebrate with their children and grandchildren. I believe that I'm the first of that generation to have a great grandchild that will carry on the SHAPIRO name. He's not being raised as Jewish since my grandson converted but I'm alright with it. As long as he believes in something. Most of our family have all married outside of the religion so acception is easy because we have strong feelings between us all.

I'm sure that my parents have turned over quite a few times in their graves and by now are again facing up. They lived in different times when divorce was an absolute no, no and marrying a gentile was frowned upon. When my uncle married an Italian girl my Zadie thought the world was coming to an end. After a short time he got over it and everything returned to normal.

To me family is everything, regardless of skin color, religion or hair color. Tonight will be a joyous occasion even though my son Mike won't be in attendance. For his own reasons he cannot find the time to participate in family functions. I miss him very much especially since his grandson will be there tearing open packages with all of his cousins.

I will think of the family that are all gone and the great memories we  shared. It's one of those times when I cry for the joy of today and the memories of the past. We light the second candle for "The Festival Of Lights" celebrating the eight days the candles burned at the dedication of the temple in Jerusalem. I pray that the light shines on our family forever.

Can't wait to eat those latkes!

My Mom is the bright eyed one on the left. Passport photo is when they came to the US in 1921.

RONNIEISMS

IS IT IN OUR GENES?
I think it started with our cousin, the Nebraska professor. He published a few books, one of which was basis for a movie. Then my niece wrote her book "Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants". Then my sister wrote the Chicago Tribune 2006 award winning memoir "The Division Street Princess". Yours truly, earlier this year published my memoir "Making Happy" and last but definetly not least our cousin has illustrated a children's book. He's having a signing here in Kansas City at the Barnes and Noble store in Oak Park Mall on Dec. 13th at 3pm. I hope that many of my friends will show up. It's absolutely beautiful, what a talent. My sister has also written her second book, I believe the title is "She's Not The Type".

My nieces Jill and Faith started their careers producing and directing their versions of THE REAL LIVE BRADY BUNCH  which was extrememly successful and gave them and some of their cast a start in show business. Faith started her professional career with SECOND CITY in Chicago and is still producing shows in the Boston area. Jill has become a producer and writer of quite a few hit TV shows and is presently the executive producer of THE UNITED STATES OF TARA.

 My above mentioned relatives are all educated people that have graduated with degrees in their chosen profession. My actual degree came from the U of HK, which I'm sure that you all know means the University of Hard Knocks. I really don't know what that means but I've heard it so many times in my life that it must be good.

My sister was very instrumental in getting me to write and finish my memoir and her help meant everything to me. I actually think that she got as much joy from my book as I did when it was finished. The pride in her voice actually brought tears to my eyes.

As I think back to our younger years, I remember my Father Irv was constantly reading. He read paper backs and I swear, I think he read a book a day. Keep in mind, TV was not the entertainment it is now. Our big day was sitting around the 5" TV watching the test pattern. While we sat and watched and waited, he read . I believe that if he had lived longer than his 48 years, he would have become a writer. So, thanks Dad for instilling in us the desire to read and to grow. I did, but my sister only got to 5 feet.

RONNIEISMS

WHAT'S GOING ON?

Again, for the 2,650th time I didn't win the POWERBALL, didn't even have a replay. I can't believe it, I play every week, I deserve to win at least a little something. After all, I'm on Social Security and who needs it more. I know, there are more people that probably deserve it more than me but as Tevia said, "Would it be such a terrible thing if I won the lottery" or something similar to that.

 I would share it with my family and friends in need. I'd put some aside so my wife and I could have a little trip like an around the world cruise, before we're both on walkers. I would contribute to worthwhile charities. I'd make sure my grandkids and great grandchild would go to college, even if they didn't want to. When they were of age I'd give each of them a copy of my book, signed with a personal note, just to remind them of their crapaw that loves them too much!

At least someone wins every few weeks, maybe I should give them my address and they could share a little, probably not. I guess that without winning the lottery I'm already a winner, having such a great wife and surrounding family and friends. So, who's complaining, not me, but would it be soo bad if maybe a few balls would fall my way?

RONNIEISMS

DECEMBER HAS ARRIVED
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, PRESENTS FOR THE FAMILY. WATCHING OUR GRANDKIDS TEAR OPEN THEIR PACKAGES, FROWN WHEN THEY SEE CLOTHES AND SMILE WHEN THEY SEE TOYS. WATCH ALL THAT WRAPPING PAPER GO INTO THE TRASH BAG, WHAT A WASTE. WHY NOT SAVE UNTIL NEXT YEAR, DO YOU THINK THE KIDS WILL NOTICE?

I'LL ADD TO WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING "DIDN'T THIS YEAR JUST FLY BYE?" MY STANDARD ANSWER, ESPECIALLY TO THOSE YOUNGER THAN ME, "WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE MY AGE, I NO SOONER SEE THE PLAZA LIGHTS GO DARK BEFORE THEY LIGHT THEM AGAIN." IT'S TRUE THOUGH, AS WE GET OLDER THE TIME ACTUALLY GOES FASTER OR IS IT JUST THAT WE'RE MOVING SLOWER SO EVERYTHING SEEMS FASTER. INSTEAD OF WALKING, WE SHUFFLE. WHEN SITTING DOWN, WE TAKE AIM AT THE CHAIR AND COLLAPSE WITH A SLIGHT SIGH. GETTING UP BECOMES A LITTLE HARDER ESPECIALLY IF THE CHAIR DOES NOT HAVE ARMS. WE TRY TO DO IT AS SMOOTHLY AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT PASSING GAS. WE KNOW WHO THOSE THAT DO, BECAUSE OF THEIR SMILE AND THE WAY THEY LOOK AROUND TO SEE IF ANYONE HEARD OR NOTICED.

ANOTHER YEAR IS ALMOST BEHIND US AS WE MAKE PLANS FOR  2010. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN THAT LONG SINCE WE WERE TOLD THAT THE YEAR 2000 WAS THE END. WE ALL THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE THE COMPUTERS MIGHT NOT RECOGNIZE THE DATE THAT ALL ELECTRONICS WOULD COME TO A HALT. THE COMPUTERS WE HAD THAT YEAR WERE LARGER THAN THEY ARE NOW BUT THE INFORMATION AND SPEED HAVE TRIPLED. WE'VE GOTTEN SO SPOILED THAT IF IT TAKES THE COMPUTER MORE THAN A FEW SECONDS TO COMPLETE A REQUEST WE COMPLAIN ABOUT IT'S SPEED. EVERYTHING NOW IS MEASURED IN MILI-SECONDS OR GIGABYTES. AN "NCIS" SHOW A WEEK OR SO AGO WAS ABOUT A POWER FAILURE SO NONE OF THEIR EQUIPMENT WORKED. THEY EVEN HAD TO USE A POLAROID CAMERA. CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT A CELL PHONE CAN DO?  IT CAN HANDLE MORE INFORMATION THAN A LARGE ROOM FILLED WITH A CARD READING XEROX COMPUTER COULD DO AND IN ONE HUNDRETH OF THE TIME.

THIS YEAR I'LL BE ENTERING MY FOURTH QUARTER AND CAN LOOK BACK AT THE WAY WE USED TO DO THINGS AND TODAY WHERE THINGS ARE DONE FOR US, BY TECHNOLOGY. IT'S AMAZING HOW FAR SCIENCE HAS GOTTEN IN FINDING CURES FOR OUR ILLNESS'. THE BIG PROBLEMS ARE THE NEW DISEASES THAT HAVE APPEARED BECAUSE OF THE FOODS WE EAT AND THE AIR WE BREATHE AND CARELESS SEX.

WE USED TO BREW COFFEE IN A POT ON THE STOVE, THEN THE TEN AND TWENTY CUP MACHINES CAME OUT. IT WAS GREAT WE COULD HAVE CUP AFTER CUP OF HOT COFFEE. AND NOW, WE'RE BACK TO SINGLE CUP BREWERS, SOMETHINGS NOT RIGHT.

 WHEN I WAS A YOUNGSTER WE ATE FOODS THAT CONTAINED FAT AND CALORIES AND THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT.  TODAY WE EAT PROCESSED FOODS, WATCH OUR FAT INTAKE. OUR SUGAR AND CALORIES AND MORE PEOPLE ARE GETTING SICK. OH WELL, THAT'S PROGRESS.

IN THIRTY DAYS  WE WATCH THIS YEAR CLOSE AND OUR FUTURE BEGIN AND AS YOGI ONCE SAID "IT'S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN!"