REMEMBERING TIMES

Good times and bad times, I remember many, going back over 50 years. Last night I received a phone call from probably my oldest living friend, Harry Z. from Atlanta, Ga. We spoke for about 20 minutes of many memories and what's going on in our immediate lives.

Naturally, during our conversation we started talking about our physical problems and our medications until my wife yelled at us to stop talking like two old farts, we both laughed and dropped the subject.

After the call, I started thinking of the things that I remember from my childhood until the present. Growing up on Division St. in Chicago, walking the eight blocks or so to grammer school through 6 feet of snow as I guess most everybody has experienced.

During those pre teen years I remember my Mother taking my Sister and me downtown to Marshall Fields during the Christmas holidays to see their 3 or 4 floors of toys. A great childhood memory.

Four years at Roosevelt High, a semester at Jr. College, two years in the Army, moving to Kansas City and getting married. Raising two children, getting divorced after 18 years and staying single for 10 years.

Moving to Hawaii, Aruba and working for a short time on the Windjammer ships. During those 10 years I had many experiences that I wrote about in my memoir "Making Happy". Two of those stand out in my mind. The first, when I was backpacking in the Smoky Mountains and believed that I had a conversation with the almighty. The second, when I was on my sailboat in Hawaii and we spoke again. Two very vivid memories.

Getting remarried to the most wonderful woman I have ever met and sharing almost 27 fantastic years together. Enjoying our combined family of children, grandchildren and great grand children.

Lucky to have many friends that we travel with, dine together, play and cry together but most of all laugh together.

This last week was another event added to my list of memories when a friend took me to my first KU game in Lawrence. Thanks Arnie, it was a blast and as I mentioned in Facebook, it was right up there with going to Marshall Field's.

DECISIONS, DECISIONS

The title may be a bit deceiving but as you read on you will see why I chose it.

First of all, our vacation is coming to a close after two beautiful weeks at our friend's gorgeous condo in Singer Island Fl. It's about 1500 miles from K.C. and approximately 2 1/2 days driving, especially if we have to stop along the way to see a KU game, which we'll do again tomorrow night as we start our trip north.

Eat, shop, play shanghai or dominos and repeat it daily. I've been exercising every morning  since I've been here, to offset the daily calorie intake I've been forced to injest.

The deli's here are second to none and much better than KC, since we have NONE back home. Do you think it's possible to have too much pastrami, corned beef or chopped liver. I think I've hit that plateau. However, tonight we're going to TOOJAYS for dinner.

The girls have done their fair share of adding to the Florida economy by visiting FESTIVAL, CARVIVAL, STUART, all flea markets and doing more than their part at BEALLS and BEALLS and more BEALLS a daily occurence. I've also taken part since you can't beat the deals at BEALLS.

Now comes the part about the title of this blog. One of my male companions is into (as I call them) gym shoes. He wears them a lot so he goes through them as much as a pro basketball player. He decided (the first) that he wanted a pair of the new Sketchers, you know, the ones that have the curved sole that is supposed to change your posture, you're foot comfort, your sex life and increase your height  (just your height) by two inches. I'm always afraid that I'll fall flat on my face if I tried them.

When he tried them on he said they felt great. When we returned to the condo he decided that he needed a slightly different length or width. The next day we returned to BEALLS to exchange his shoes. To cut the story a little shorter, it took five trips for him to decide to keep the same style that he was presently
wearing. I really believe that he loves shopping, but remains a little undecided.

THE BLIZZARD OF OZ (not my original)

Twelve inches of snow and a Midwest blizzard. Looking out I watched the snow pile up as it blew against my front door . Before going to bed last night I looked out to find two feet of snow accumulating.

 I was going to walk down to the fitness center at our apartment complex but the snow was coming pretty fast and the driveway was slick. I decided to drive the 50 or so feet instead of walking and possibly risking a fall. Not worth taking a chance since Saturday was our departure date for the south.

As I entered the gym as I call it, I noticed that the other 5 participants were all women. I guess the hardy guys couldn't brave the weather enough to work out. After sweating for an hour and 10 minutes I walked out to find six inches of snow on my windshield. It took about 5 minutes for the defrosters to work enough to give me an almost clear window. Went home to spend the day with my wife watching the falling snow. These days it was one of our more exciting times.

Last week we had dinner at a fairly new restaurant on 135th between Nall and Roe called 77 South. It's next door to Bonefish and features a small but very decent menu that is priced decently and features nice size servings. I gave it five belches, which is my highest mark for service, quantity ambience and quality. I met Mike Howell one of the partners who offered us discount cards for their Sunday Brunch. Buy one and get second one free. The menu looked good to me since it offered lox and bagels, my Sunday morning neccesity. We'll have to try it when we return from vacation. You may have to ask for the brunch card, it's quite a savings.

The sun is out this morning and everything is so bright as the snow reflects it's glow. I wish I had a sled. Getting onto the sled would be no problem but I would need two men and a forklift to get me up. The kids should have a few days of fun before returning to school.

I hope I'll have a chance to get my van washed before we leave, it's caked with dirt thick enough to hide it's color. Have a great day and try to smile.

I WAS NUKED!

The other evening I woke up about 12:30am which is usually my first of the night and staggered into my bathroom. The lights are off but I've learned my way in the dark due to the many evenings of practise. I leave the lights off so as not to wake my sleeping beauty.

I made it into the bathroom but I saw a strange light. It seemed to be coming from my body. We do have a small night light but that wasn't it, it was eerie. Why did I seem to be glowing? I could see all around me without the lights being turned on. I closed the door so the light wouldn't escape into our bedroom.

While sitting there, yes, I sit in the dark to keep from splashing all over the place without hitting my target, I remembered that I had taken a nuclear stress test during the day. The test lasted 5 hours starting at 9:30 and ending at 2:30.

During prep I was injected with two different chemicals or isotopes that could be seen by the camera during the scanning process of the test. After waiting about 15 minutes I was shown to a slab, it felt like one, and was instructed to lay down with my arms stretched above my head and to remain still for 20 minutes. It doesn't sound too tough but when you have two bad rotator cuffs, it's no picnic. But I survived.

We took a short break after that and I was given some peanut butter crackers since I had been fasting since last night and they wanted to make sure I didn't crash before going on.

I told the nurses that I work out for about an hour every day so the treadmill portion of the test should not be a problem. They hooked me up to the EKG machine and kept a constant check on my blood pressure which they said was actually perfect for a younger man and even better for an old fart like me. I went for the full eight minutes up all three levels and at maximum speed that I believe was about 3 mph. I guess the hours at the gym had paid off.

Before going much further I've got to tell you why I was taking the test. I have a large amount of calcium that has formed around my heart and my Dr. wanted to make sure there was no blockage that would have prompted an angio plasti procedure.

After another hour or so I was again placed in the scanner with the camera placed over my chest area. I asked if I could play some music but they explained that they did not have any. I told them that I had some albums on my Blackberry phone and could I use that? After some discussion with the main tech she agreed but it couldn't be too loud. She placed it next to my head and I listened to BURLESQUE with Cher and Christina Agulera. I was told to remain absolutely still and not to tap my fingers or feet to the music. The music actually helped to make the 20 minutes go a little faster.

We completed all the stages at 2:30 and I was told that we were finished. It was a five hour test and the only thing I knew was that I had passed the treadmill portion with flying colors but the results of the two scans would be between 5 to 7 days.

The next evening my cardiologist called to give me the GREAT news that everything was open and running perfectly. A big sigh was emitted from both my wife and me. So, I guess that eerie light was the remainder of the nuclear residue in my body or just the glow that follows me everywhere.

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ADDICTION

When people hear the word addiction their response is usually, "oh no, I hope they can be cured." Or "how bad is he or she, can they be helped?" "Are they in prison, what are they hooked on?"

Fortunately our, or mostly my wife's addiction is neither drugs or alcohol. I had always thought that I was her only addiction, wrong, another has entered our lives.

We received an I-PAD as a gift for Hanukkah from our wonderful children. Our daughter helped us put in some APS and our son helped upload 100 photos.

One big problem is her hand, it's becoming shaped to the I-PAD. I shouldn't complain too much tho, I pick it up when she finishes her upteen different scrabble games across the country.

It's a fabulous piece of work but be careful if you get one. Set your time allowed before starting. If you don't, you could be on it for hours or even days if you're battery will allow. It's fun to use and very educational, especially if you read all the newspapers that are available.

I can check scores of all the college and pro games as they're being played. I can check the stats of the players, the injuries, or any stories pertaining to my teams.

I can go on and on but you might think that this blog is a paid commercial for the I-PAD. It's not but It sounds like it, doesn't it?

ARE YOU EXPERIENCING LEG CRAMPS?

Do you wake up in the middle of the night with a leg cramp or charlie horse? Sometimes the pain is in both legs from the thighs to the toes. Or, just one leg as most people experience. The thigh or leg gets as hard as concrete and no matter what you try, flexing your foot, rubbing the painfull area or drinking a glass of milk, nothing helps.

I know most men would rather have another part of the body becoming hard but that's another blog at another time. Now, we're talking about a pain that's excrutiating, at least it has been for me.

I remember waking up one night, trying to keep the scream I wanted to make as quiet as possible so as not to wake my wife. I stumbled into the bathroom screaming to myself go away, go away, hoping the pain would decrease. In walks my wife to see what's going on and she hears me saying go away, so she does.

A friend mentioned a cure that sounded absolutely stupid but I tried it. She had been using this for sometime and her cramps had not come back. I decided to give it a try, and it's working. I couldn't believe that something this simple would stop those horrible cramps, but it did.

At a recent Doctor's appointment I mentioned this discovery and before the words were out of my mouth he says "my mother has been doing this for months and I too have been using it."

Well, the more people that I mentioned this to laughed at the idea but said that they would try it. After trying, they all responded with a positive "IT WORKS!"

I decided that something this good could be marketed so I came up with "CRAMPS BEGONE", smart eh! I'm going on E-Bay to start selling my new product with a guarantee that can't be beat. If the product does not work after thirty days of use, do not send it back, just keep it and use it in the shower.

My product is a specially developed bar of soap. I guess you can use any soap product but mine has been tried and tested and the guarantee comes with it. Just put it between your bottom and top sheet at the foot of the bed and cramp no more.

If you wish to order my product just send $5.00, check, money order or cash to CRAMPS BEGONE to my address or simply call me at 913-269-1388 for a non recorded message.

Here's to a full night's sleep.

 Next product is something to reduce trips to the bathroom during sleep time.**except for men over 50

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

About a year ago I was having many health problems added to my FFA*. Arthritis, Diabetes, Torn Rotator Cuff, Bad Knees, Constant Back Pain. All this I believed was part of the trip we all take into our Senior years.

My Dr. that had been taking care of me for about 15 years decided to become one of the new breed of concierge Drs. With them it's mostly cash and carry but they're available 24/7 (unless the Chiefs are winning). You pay a yearly charge for this service but Medicare is not something they wish to accept any longer.

No matter what I tried I couldn't lose weight. I tried exercising but I was in constant pain. I couldn't walk more than 50 feet without having to stop and recharge.

Last February while in Florida for two weeks, staying with a good friend at her beautiful condo, I made a decision. I was going to start an exercise routine. There is a fitness center in her building so I didn't have to go very far. I spent about 30 minutes walking on the treadmill at a pretty slow speed and about 15 minutes on the stationary bike. After working up a good schvitz, I went upstairs and had breakfast.

If I was going to try and lose weight I also had to change my eating habits. I read somewhere or somebody told me that starvation was not the answer. Depriving yourself of the things you like or even crave such as sweets, as I do, would not work.

The answer was simple. Eat all the thing you like but EAT ONLY HALF. Banana Cream pie, BBQ beef sandwich, ribs, even salads, EAT ONLY HALF.  This way you're getting the taste of the foods you enjoy but you're only absorbing 1/2 of the calories and fat.

A few months ago I was diagnosed with a large quantity of calcium around my heart so after my Dr. at the time told me to keep doing what I'm doing, I decided to change Drs. I was given the name of a heart specialist at St. Lukes who changed my cholestral medicine and asked me if I would be able to add 10 minutes to my exercise routine, which I've done. Actually overdone.

I'm now up to 70 minutes daily, burning about 115 calories and feeling pretty good. (knock on wood). I was 215 lbs when I started and this morning I was 178 lbs. My goal is to reach 175 and then I'll just try to maintain unless I grow a couple of inches. For many years I believed I was the perfect weight if I were 6'2" but that was not to be. Thanks Dad.

So my public service announcement is simply this. If you want to feel better and hopefully increase your time on earth, start taking better care of yourself. You definetly don't have to do what I do, but do something.

Yes, I cheat sometimes but I make up for it by exercising, it somehow removes the guilt I have by eating too many sweets.

START TODAY, TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF SO YOU'LL BE AROUND A LITTLE LONGER AND WE CAN CONTINUE TO LAUGH A LOT.
*FUCKING FALLING APART