RONNIEISMS

I'M BETTER NOW!
I was hospitalized for a few days because of dong something dumb. Let me go back awhile and tell you about my right hand that I affectionitely call "RIGHTIE". Years ago when I was in jock shape I played a lot of raquetball, I was fast, I was agile, I played hard and as a player I was OK. I won my share of games but I wasn't great. My nickname at the many courts I played at was WALLS, because of my tendency of running too fast and not stopping quick enough to keep my wrist from smashing into, you guessed it, the wall. Over the years I never took it to a Dr. to have it looked at so as I got older my family arthritis kicked in and any cartilage that was in my wrist was gone. I was now bone on bone.

I've been able to function all these years by not using my hand  for much other than writing and playing the piano was out of the question. This last Sunday we had a group of friends over to watch the playoff games and I was asked to open a jar for one of our guests. It was really stuck but  finally, with my last ounce of strength and super power was able to get it open. My wrist felt a little weak but I didn't pay too much attention. I was then asked to open a couple bottles of wine, which I did with the help of a corkscrew, not hard but a lot of wrist twisting.

At 2am that evening i awoke with this terrible pain in my wrist. Not wanting to wake my wife, I spent the rest of the night in the living room curled up in my chair trying, to no avail, to fall asleep. Couldn't be done. My wife got up about 7am and found me in the chair. "What's wrong?, she asked. "It's my wrist, I can't use it and the pain is terrible."
"Let's call the Orthopedic clinic" she suggested. I told her that I would later but I had to make some deliveries first. I called my grandson Josh and he came over to give me a hand, pardon the pun. He drove and made the stops for me but my wrist was getting worse. I was almost in tears.

Finally when my wife returned home from her chores we decided to go to the Emergency Room at Menorah. (big mistake) I'll try to shorten the story a little without going into too much gore. As I was lying there in excrutiating pain, they could not find a good vein after many tries. A different nurse was called in and again after numerous tries, one was found. They gave me an injection of Morphine but it was a total waste, it didn't help at all and during all this time the pain was worsening.

I've always heard that a kidney pain was as bad as delivering a baby,they're right it's pretty bad, this was worse. I begged them to remove my hand, I couldn't lie still. Finally after much insistance they administered a much heavier drug that took the edge off but made me a little wacky. But at least the pain was diminishing. During this episode I mentioned to a nurse that I felt some minor chest pain. Big Mistake, once you mention chest pain in a Heart Traume Unit, they stop everything to check out your heart. Forgetting my hand, they turned all of their attention to my heart. Luckily no heart attack but a very slight change in my breathing pattern.

They decided to keep me overnight to watch me. Anyway after two days of sleepless nights since you're awakened every other hour for tests, my hand Doctor showed up and gave me some injections of cortizone in my hand and thumb. Pain again during the procedure but two days later I'm OK to the point of using my hand. The swelling has gone down and I can function without a full hand brace.

So my lesson for today is. "Don't open any jars, let someone else do it!"